I do believe...

that giving yourself away, completely, to the Lord is a lot like when you are so passionately compelled, so fully engaged in life that you have spoken an entire Christ-minded monologue without even so much as stopping to take a breath. When leave marriage counseling and dinner out with your pastor feeling more alive than you've felt all week. As we sat with our pastor and his wife at dinner we discussed their trip to Africa. She spoke on how her heart broke for the little boy in his tattered clothes completely content with nothing more than a stick to entertain himself. She said she was worried that he was not happy, her husband however assured her that he was. After all, he did not know the difference. He did not WANT anything more than a simple stick to stimulate his imagination.

This lead me on a completely revolutionary thought process. It all makes sense. Jason has a friend at work who moved from Nigeria last year because God had called him to minister to the young people in America...Yes, God had called this humble Nigerian to minister to our young...Mindblowing if you really think about it. He told us stories of waking up early in the morning back home and just getting up, walking outside to streets of his neighborhood, and vehemently praising and preaching God's word, out loud. Not quietly on his front porch or meditating in his front yard, no. Loudly proclaiming the Love of God up and down his streets every morning.

Our pastors' wife reaffirmed this nature with the story of her son's experience with a young boy he befriended while they were their. He awoke one morning to find his friend leaving earlier than usual for school. The young boy explained that he and his friends met early every morning to pray on the hillside. Not because they are made to but because they understand. They are and continue to dive ever deeper in a continuously living, breathing, pulsing, DAILY LIVING with God.

And I came to the realization that we are the ones who are truly hungry. They are being filled with the joy, grace, faithfulness, and mercy of the Lord; starved as they are physically. While we spend our days stuffing boxes and bags, sugars and salts into our empty shells...hoping if we eat, drink, or stimulate ourselves enough with all our worldly concoctions then maybe one day we can escape from the hell of our depression-filled holes. We are so empty in comparison to these starving believers. We are fat, lazy slobs in the eyes of these prayerful angels. And yet we feel a since of pride, of accomplishment when we are able to send one shoe box of random odds and ends to a child. We should feel so content to just do the bare minimum, if even that.

And so now as I ramble I look at myself, and I shutter. Where am I and where, especially, are our capabilities to give ourselves away, to give our stuffs away, to fill to mouths of those who physical hunger is gnawing away so that maybe....maybe....they could save our souls.

And this is no small task that can just be written away to the government, no. It is a personal decision to take hold of the reigns and BE. WORK. ACT. LIVE as if you actually want to save a life, as if someone else's life is just as much worth living as your own.

Colors

I have just recently embraced the beauty of a rather large punch of color included in an otherwise monochromatic world. I am a solids kind of gal, gravitating towards anything, ANYTHING, singularly toned. My wardrobe is chalk full of blues, reds, greys, and blacks -- each of which locates itself separately on this or that top, blouse, skirt, or pant. I am a simple soul venturing out, fashion or otherwise, only when provoked or provided by an outside source. Such as, my sister. My wedding day has proven to be much of the same. Lots of deep blues, champagnes, chocolate browns, and ivories adorn much of my plans.

However, as of late I have been rather drawn to color. To each and every single beautiful, bright color that God ever created. I have taken this recent kind-hearted adoration and determined to apply it to my wedding. While on the topic, it is pretty crazy how much more real and excited I am for the "big day" now that all the little details have begun to be planned. The flowers, the music, & the cakes are making it all that much more real. My first shower :), an engagement annoucement soon to be written, my daddy actually talking about it on a regular basis. 100 days until my entire self is given to be shared with someone else.

Wow. :)

Here is an idea to leave you with somewhat of what the bridesmaid's bouquets will look like. Pretty cool huh? 8)

recurring theme

In my life, be lifted high. In our world, be lifted high. In our love, be lifted high.

Today I was listening to the radio (imagine that) I enjoy listening to intellectually stimulating talk radio (PBS, Sean Hannity, Dave Ramsey, or typically most anything on the Christian talk radio stations). Today I was flipping through and stumbled upon a man talking about the individual who wrote the hymn Amazing Grace and a friend of his. He explained that his friend was an extremely troubled man mentally and emotionally, a man who went into deep fits of depression and mental anguish but who, whenever he came out of them from time to time was eternally reverent and passionate in his faithfulness. I actually think it was a sermon by Ravi Zacharias who I have been intrigued with ever since I heard his sermon on the Atheist mentality.

William Cowper was the man's name and upon reading his biography I am again touched by the rawness of his anxieties, of his struggles transfigured into a salvation song from his madness. Any fear, anxiety, or depression I may have experienced pales in comparison to the terrors this man endured and yet still he was able to recognize the power and sacrifice of God's love...here is his hymn that sent shivers down my spine...

There is a fountain filled with blood drawn from Emmanuel’s veins;
And sinners plunged beneath that flood lose all their guilty stains.
Lose all their guilty stains, lose all their guilty stains;
And sinners plunged beneath that flood lose all their guilty stains.

The dying thief rejoiced to see that fountain in his day;
And there have I, though vile as he, washed all my sins away.
Washed all my sins away, washed all my sins away;
And there have I, though vile as he, washed all my sins away.

Dear dying Lamb, Thy precious blood shall never lose its power
Till all the ransomed church of God be saved, to sin no more.
Be saved, to sin no more, be saved, to sin no more;
Till all the ransomed church of God be saved, to sin no more.

E’er since, by faith, I saw the stream Thy flowing wounds supply,
Redeeming love has been my theme, and shall be till I die.
And shall be till I die, and shall be till I die;
Redeeming love has been my theme, and shall be till I die.

Then in a nobler, sweeter song, I’ll sing Thy power to save,
When this poor lisping, stammering tongue lies silent in the grave.
Lies silent in the grave, lies silent in the grave;
When this poor lisping, stammering tongue lies silent in the grave.

Lord, I believe Thou hast prepared, unworthy though I be,
For me a blood bought free reward, a golden harp for me!
’Tis strung and tuned for endless years, and formed by power divine,
To sound in God the Father’s ears no other name but Thine.


So many amazing revelations in a single hymn. "Dear dying Lamb thy precious blood shall never lose it's power..." to grasp the entirety of its meaning, impossible as it is, powerful, BIG imagery. To read his humility in every word, a man lost in this world and eagerly awaiting his return to his Father...to be freed of a stammering tongue...to be able to sing a sweeter, perfect song one day...all day forever. Always singing and escaped from his bodily cage...wow. The patience, the determination, and the will to keep going...to press on through the madness.

Just wow.

Lydia Grace

Lovely Lydia, sweetly I'll sing your name to Him that made your little heart beat just so. And although I never got the chance to feel the strength of your little grasping fingers or the warmth of your pint sized life in the palm of my hand--Just to see your face in pictures is enough to know you're every heaven sent miracle. Dear precious Lydia so thankful for your smile and that God has saved you from the sorrow of this world. You were His from before the first breath, and with Him now held in those great big arms of Love. Our hearts break as we are left here, with little to understand. Where is the peace in the brevity of a little life lived? Dear Lord could you please Shine a little light on the emptiness here and that we might again one day be met with her soul's smile.

Stumble

I have a new obsession. I've given up Facebook and replaced it with,

STUMBLEUpon.

Talk about amazing. Here's a quote I found as a result. I'm writing it here to remember it.

Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have
somebody to divide it with.

- Mark Twain

a poem and a prayer

I have been hateful, I've hated in a world filled with loath--I've spit filled with spite at those that disgust. When really its me whose disgusting that's all. And the pitiful pride that lured me deep down inside is a ruthless deterrent my ignorance ignores. Yet somehow I'd imagined that each of your faces could heal me or fill me as I tried to endure. There's an evil in each of us if you choose to dig deep enough--instead I will pray to find the good in us all. Speak words unspoken fresh quivering lips spill death and resurrection of love and free willing--hope. and. then. Still seeking redemption I return open palmed and empty--You. You. YOU filling, feeling. You fill me. Dear Lord...

Where to begin, again. You lead me, Love.

Jonah's Plea

I cried out to the Lord because of my affliction, And He answered me. Out of the belly of Sheol I cried And You heard my voice. For You cast me into the deep, Into the heart of the seas, And the floods surrounded me; All Your billows and Your waves passed over me. Then I said, 'I have been cast out of Your sight; Yet I will look again toward Your holy temple.' The waters surrounded me, even to my soul; The deep closed around me; weeds were wrapped around my head. I went down to the moorings of the mountains; The earth with its bars closed behind me forever; Yet You have brought up my life from the pit, O Lord my God. When my soul fainted within me, I remembered the Lord. And my prayer went up to You, Into Your holy temple. Those who regard worthless idols Forsake their own Mercy. But I will sacrifice to You with the voice of thanksgiving; I will pay what I have vowed. Salvation is of the Lord.

Jonah 2: 2-10

It is passages like this...in my quiet times that I realize we have all suffered...we are all striving for a reason to believe, to live for something more....to be Saved. And it's right here in front of us but we have got to want it. You have got to want to realize that you have no control...you are not meant to control yourself. There is simply something so much more than the hate and depression of superficial living...and it's hard not to be angry and not to hate the oftentimes sickening life of humanity...but it is necessary to realize that if we want to accept our purpose...if we want to breath his Life into others. We have got to find patience...self control....self sacrifice rather...and silence in our moments of discontent and anger. We too are sinners....we were not meant to simply shove ourselves carelessly into the lives of others and thrust an accusing finger into their eye....we are just as if not more deplorable then the act of sin we are condemning. We Know better. And still we want more...we want immediate 110% comprehension and perfection from those "beneath" us....those "behind" us....those "below" us. And I say we because oftentimes I want the same thing.....I cannot understand how someone continues to live in such a destructive, disgusting manner when I do not even bother to look at the pitfalls of my own existence. Jonahs' plea to the Lord was not one of a hope for salvation from the belly of the whale, he knew this was the place he was meant to be....It was a plea for an acceptance of his seeming understand....and mere days later he would forget himself again. He would forget the Mercy the Lord had shown to him, forget that that Mercy was not just for him it was for EVERYONE! No matter how many times you fail....no matter how many times you falter...He knows the truth of your heart....the truth of your intentions.

So be true to Him. Be true to yourself. Take a good long hard look in the mirror before lashing out at all of humanity around you. Look at the Good before the Bad....even when it is hard to find.

"You just call my name"

As I get older my birthdays, without a doubt, have taken on a much deeper meaning to me. My family has always done an incredible job of making me feel extremely loved, valued, and appreciated on that special day in April. I remember distinctly my birthdays at home...my mom would come into my room early in the morning and snuggle up close to me and get all mushy and gushy about how it was my birthday...in her super excited happy voice that would secretly put the biggest smile in my heart. I remember how we always got to pick what we wanted for dinner or if we wanted to eat out...I can still remember the surprise party my mom worked so hard to put together for me and how hard she tried to remind us just how special we were, not only to her but to all of those closest to us. She gave cause for celebration each year and I am forever greatful for the "special" feeling I have instilled in me because of it. Because of the importance my mom and dad placed on my life, on the worth of my being, I know that I am someone with the potential to Be. I never realized how integral those moments with my parents would be in shaping my entire person.

These past two years I have had the tremendous blessing of being able to celebrate my birthday in an entirely new way. Not only does my family celebrate the birth of their daughter but my new (soon to be) family celebrates the life of a daughter, a sister, a wife they'd always known existed, have prayed for, and finally get to share in the life of. Its a huge, humbling reality to be involved, immersed in the lives of an entirely new family...an entirely new life of faithfilled, passionate individuals who have already changed my life completely. As I think back on these past two years, on the past two celebrations of the life God gave me and my family loved me into I am so so so Joyful.

And this coming year....this coming October....will begin an entirely new chapter in many many more incredible birthdays to come.

4/18

If I find in myself desires nothing in this world can satisfy, I can only conclude that I was not made for here.

Brooke Fraser

Stripped Away

Some things just cannot be stumbled upon, on a completely different note. They seek after you, creep up upon you, when you least expect it. When you are at your most vulnerable, completely oblivious--that is when and where it, when He meets you. I am in such a good place in life, I am surrounded by those who love me earnestly and it is only now; right now in this moment that I have come alive to that reality. It is an alive moment that continously reveals itself. It's a levels sort of thing when all you want is it all, and you want it now. It is the true act of Patience. The beauty of a gradual unfolding of truth, and life, and the sincerity of all that life has to offer. It is Hope in and amongst what is said to be Darkness. It is the ability, the freedom, to turn off, tune out, and engage in that what is truly deserving of our greatest concern. I continue to be reminded that this is our, this is My one Life. My one and only time to be the person who doesn't make me want to cringe when I speak. It was only today that I began to understand what it was that Jesus did on the cross. Seriously. It was on the way here that I heard a man speaking about how The Lord was completely separated from God on the cross in order to bare the sins of the world. It was the Separation that I understood. Not the sacrifice but the separation, the separation that is entirely second nature to so many of us today. I'm not sure if I've ever known life without some degree of separation from my God. Not disbelief, rather, a distance neverceasing wonder of exactly what this; what this relationship was all about. It was with that simple understanding today that my distance was put into perspective. I put my wants, my dillusions, and my "intention" above and between a real, earnest Giving Myself Away kind of relationship with Him...And I can already tell that this relationship is not, would not be one of stoic ruling...It can be a passionate, all encompassing, never fearing enslavement of all I am to Him. Every single fiber of myself given and graced by Grace itself...To be amongst a relationship...An Earnest, Stripped Away relationship with the one who bares all of the ugliness that ever existed....and all of the Joy....and all of the Life & Death...to be filled with it all, always.

Thank you for this deeper understanding and for my continued seeking and changing.

*Listen to Brooke Fraser's "C.S. Lewis Song"....it's what got me started on this

when you dream....

I love to dream. I love to wake up from dreams and lay in my bed trying to recall as many details as I can. I find it oddly intoxicating how I have recurring dreams with the same setting...always a place i've never been and yet a conglomerate of several places vaguely familiar to me. It is downtown Rome made up of building with ceiling I can stand on my tip toes and touch (kind of like going back to elementary school...). The buildings are always seperated by plenty of space, somewhat aged and sort of falling to pieces but not (it's a dream after all)...and there's green grass and tree dispersed about and many of the building have no walls atleast not when I finally reach them. And there are hills too. And I'm always running...Go figure.

I love my dreams...I know that when I eat ice cream and often when I drink coffee late at night...I know I will not be disappointing with that nights sleep. However, it is exhausting...and sometimes they start out fine enough and then twist into something you cannot really escape. When you wake up to your heart pounding and have to lie there for a moment just to remember where you are. Those are the ones I never ever enjoy having. The dreams of death or deceit...deception or a life I'm living completely opposite from my own...the what might have been. It will scare the humanity right out of you.

I'm not really sure what took me off on this tangent on dreams other than that I had several different ones last night (something of a mix of what had gone on from the day). I think it might be a good idea to wake up and immediately write down all I can before they are forgotten...not necessarily because there might be some sort of cryptic message within them but rather because it might be fun to read 3-4 years from now when I have forgotten and then discover that I had this blog...Which I have done recently with SEVERAL attempts I made at blogging my life (I think I've got at least 7 different ones I began)...Those are the best to find. It most definitely is the modern day diary.

:) I bought the book "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan this week....so far so wonderful. Now if I could just get myself off of Here and into the book I might have more to share. Also, clearly I changed the design of my blog...I enjoy this one much more because the colors change to match whatever photo you post...of course that means (apparently) you can only post one photo per update....Not sure how I feel about that but we shall see!

NORTH CAROLINA THIS WEEKEND FOR MY BIRTHDAY!!!!!

Just thought I'd mention that. :D

remembrance

"If I keep my eyes on Jesus I can walk on water. If I keep my eyes on Him, I can walk on water." - Audio Adrenaline

Just one of the many pictures from the little Easter Egg Hunt I threw together in the backyard. :)

Easter was not the same without Maggie & Charlie :( but goodness gracious the weather was gorgeous!

I have determined that the way to keep my spirits up is to stay busy! (Duh!) But today I am happy, blessed, and on the run!

a break & discovery

Given the extent of stress I have been under this week, having taken my certification exam this past yesterday and STILL waiting to hear from GA State...This past weekend was a very much needed, refreshing, dream world of Love. What can I say about "Prepared to Last" other than it was a series of fantastic talks with AMAZING, no seriously AMAZING people. Our group was filled with this kinetic energy that everyone said had never been experienced before. Jeff and Debbie far and away exceeded my expectations--they were HILARIOUS, brutally and beautifully honest, and just FILLED with so much truth. I truly grasped the concept that if I spent my life (God willing) worry soley about Jason's needs (and he mine) we would never have to worry about our SELF again. This weekend I met some truly amazing couples (Team Ariel!!) and opened up and entirely new place in my heart for my love to enter in. It was a weekend filled with prayer, communication, plenty of Laughter, and more and more grace and reassurance from God that Jason and I are on the right path. :)

And now...pictures!
relying on one another to dominate the ropes course (this was jason's favorite)

practicing before our second try

complete Dickson/Shank domination :)

He loves me :)

We won. (of course) We had to write our dream vacation, mine was "Greece, where it's all white and blue and H2O" and Jason's was "Diving in Australia" :)

Team Ariel. All of Us.

Team Ariel pushing the Chik Fil A van out of the mud (all Jason's idea)

Belaying Us

Us from above (Self portrait #12930834234)

Amanda and John dominating the high ropes!!!

After we rushed back from our run and got ready in mere moments...our lovely selves at our dinner date.

Jason and I both agree that this was by far the most amazing weekend we have had together, honestly ever. We spent so much time on each other and with God and amongst a group of fantastic couples and INCREDIBLE staff. Winshape has really been one of if not the most incredible blessing in my life. I continue to be amazed by all that God has given and continue to reveal to us. :) :) :)

inspiration :)

Just a little inspiration board I put together of wedding ideas that I love.

Prayer

I know I have not updated in awhile (not that anyone reads this aside from Maggie but we will just pretend like millions of people are patiently anticipating my next update) BUT I have been extremely busy with finishing up my FINAL YEAR of my UNDERGRADUATE DEGREE! One more month entirely of Milledgeville, however, let me not stray to far from the point of this entry. I will write more once this week has come to its completion. Jason and I just got back from Prepared to Last at Winshape....so much, SO MUCH to say about that :).

But for now. I would very much appreciate PRAYER for the certification exam I am taking TOMORROW and patience as I continue to wait to find out about my fate in so far as GA State is concerned.....Thank you!

Here is a picture (of many) to leave you with from our amazing weekend. (I photoshopped jason's lipoma scar right on out of there :)).

LOVE.

little ones are the best ones for a smile

prayertimes

My room is clean. Clean by my standards at least. :) Having managed to both dust and vacuum my room in a one week period is a miracle to be sure. I have found most recently that my mind continues to meanders to those who were once in my life. When my mind meanders like so I tend to bring these individuals up in conversation in an attempt, I do believe, to create a verbal memory, a living word out of my memory. I know now that they come to my mind, that I weep for them not because I need them back in my life, not that I need to grab them and shake them and tell them to change, not that I need to be their personal saviour. I weep freely for those I once loved, not out of pity for myself and the pains I might have once incurred, I weep for their souls. I weep for the souls I've seen. The souls I've known so tangibly, tasted so completely that I know they are still...somewhere...in there. You know what I mean? I weep for what I believe in each one of them could be. still. And when I weep, now I know is when I need to pray. I pray for them. For who they are and that their hearts will open, forgive, and finally be free to be.

I pray so hard for those who once were such a big part of this life. of my life. Who still have so much to live for and that maybe, just maybe, today will be their day.

"It's in the unraveling of life that we find God even more."

- Phillip LaRue

faith is a miraculous thing

One night several months ago I was sleeping in my bed in my room in Milledgeville. Nothing particularly interesting had occurred on that day I am sure. I am a pretty regularly restless sleeper so it is nothing for me to wake up several times in the night. This night, however, was very much different from the others. I was actually fully and completely awakened and so I glanced at the clock. 4:49 it said and I so I decided to open my Bible and read. I am a very skeptical person, which was not always the case. Someone so used to living on emotions alone finds it hard to realize that emotional living can only drive one insane. This growing up thing sure is hard. :) I digress....anyhow I opened my Bible to Phillipians and read Chapter 4: 4-9

...Summing it all up, friends. I'd say you'll do best by filling your minds and meditation on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious--the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from Me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into His most Excellent Harmonies.

I believe in this, "to practice what you learned from Me," I believe...I know that we all have our demons. Demons and pitfalls and evils in the middle of the night that few want to admit, even fewer want to realize, conceptualize, answer to themselves to whatever you choose to believe. He tells His people clearly here to focus on the BEST, not the worst....and that is not just in yourself but in the entire world around you. If you believe and choose to see that we were all created by this one Almighty God then you must read every SINGLE word he's left for you. Too often I am bombarded with the hatred of lifestyles those who claim to be his own have conveniently pinpointed as the EPITOME OF EVIL. I get requests to join groups speaking out against these lifestyles and it hurts my heart. What is beautiful, what is worthy of praise when those who are taught to love, taught to pray, taught to worry about the thorn in their own eye, taught to be amongst those you might not understand, taught NOT TO JUDGE LEST YOU BE JUDGE---when these people, His People, are quick to cast the first stone.

There has got to be something else we could be doing, there has got to be another approach than this. It tears up my heart to read the hatred written by those who claim to love, claim to pray and preach and understand his word. Maybe I am naive, maybe I do not understand the True Purpose of his Endless Love, but if this is the truth...then maybe I just don't want to get it.

I want to love and love fully, honestly, and without judgment of the demons we all contain. I want to pray for a better day, a more perfect world, a deeper, more clear understanding of a Personal Relationship that does not have to be put under the microscope. Where the only person, the Only One we have to answer to is He Himself; not the self righteous voice of fellow man. I want to yelling to stop, indignation to cease, I want to share His Love without those around me tainting the purity of that. His Love is Pure, I refuse to believe that it Hates. You know what you are doing is wrong, everyone knows when something is wrong; it is infecting. No one needs to hear the wrath of another sinner to understand his own sin, so stop it. Please.

i love you because

i love you because of your diligent spirit.

i love you because of your tender heart.

i love you because you are never afraid, you have no fear.

I moved myself

:)
Come on...everyone's doing it!!
http://joywantcoffee.wordpress.com/

love is all you've got

Look into this if you get a free moment:
http://www.dayswithmyfather.com/

I imagined it would be extremely heartbreaking but the words he is able to compile along with the photographs left me feeling filled rather than empty. Although his mind leaks memories, the love that fills this little family sustains.
Just wow.

tuesdays are my favorite weekday by far

Probably due in complete part to the fact that I have absolutely no classes on Tuesday, not a single one. I have decided, and I've discussed this with Maggie and it seems a pretty viable option, that I am going to quit school now and take up wedding planning. It is my relaxation. Other than exercise it is the one way I can find sweet release from stress and get that thrill of researching and brainstorming new ideas! I will never complain about having a long engagement, I have been able to do everything in stages which allows plenty of time to THINK through what I really want out of each area of importance. It is hard being away and busy all of the time but I know that I am being granted the strength to see it through to a better, brighter day. :)

do a little dance.

I just found out that I have been selected to interview at Georgia State for there Physical Therapy Program.
:) I am so very honored and excited. PRAYERS that God's will will continue to lead me in the direction I am headed. Continue to guide me through the different doors he has placed in my path, opportunities to succeed and/or further my education. Prayers that he will continue to strength and solidify my relationship with Jason and our future together as one. Prayers that I will handle peacefully, prayerfully, and graciously EVERYTHING he has blessed me with.
Prayers of thanks to YOU for your support.
:) Happy dance all around, which most definitely calls for a celebratory coffee break. (pretty much anything calls for a celebratory coffee break in my case)

:)

I purchased my wedding dress today. I made an appointment at the Crystal Crane (now across from the Mall of Georgia) and my mom, sister, and I were all there to share in the experience! My mom and I got there a little before 10:30, I had already gone through all of the designers collections they carry and picked out the dresses I liked the most. This gave them an idea of what I liked and the lady who was helping us (Laura) steered me towards a few that fit my taste. The place is actually pretty small so we ended up going through all of the dresses and picking out the ones that I like or thought would at least be fun to try on. Both my mom and Laura really wanted me to try on this one dress but I was not too crazy about the beads on it. After trying on several and really liking a pretty expensive one they finally convinced me to try on the one they both liked. When I put it on they both loved it :). At first I really loved the flow of the skirt but was not crazy about the beads still. However, the owner of the store came over and began to tell me how we could order it without the beads and even have it made in a different type of fabric. Around this time my sister showed up and I showed her the two I liked the most. She, like me, liked the more expensive one better. The two dresses were both completely different and thus spoke of two completely different feels, the more expensive one had a more mature, elegance to it whereas the other had a more youthful, Cinderella-type feel. The longer I was in the later though, and the more I was able to imagine the little changes they would make to it...the happier and more excited I became. I think what did me in was when I tried on the veil I was absolutely in love with. The veil and dress and my mom and the owner and my sister in a trial bridesmaid dress pretty much did it in for me! (Not to mention that it was over a thousand dollars less than the other one!) I LOVED that they were able to accommodate my wishes so easily AND that I can still make alterations to it once it is actually here. :) :) :) SO there you have it! OH and while I was trying on this dress, THE DRESS, I looked out the window and happened to see Chad (Jason's brother-in-law) walking right by!! He looked in the window and did a triple take!! 8) Hopefully that's a good sign! Oh and he was on his way to Jason's!!! CLOSE ONE!!! I don't even know how I'm going to keep all of this from Jason. It makes it feel so much more real, just knowing exactly what I'm going to be wearing I can really picture it now! I know that most brides say that they try on THE dress and they just know. However, for me it was so much better because I was able to piece together the whole picture and then it REALLY was just the the one for me. :) I loved how I gradually became more and more excited with each added element. (and it really helped having several women tell me how gorgeous it was) Now the really cool thing about it all is that Crystal Crane is the same place Maggie got her dress :) It used to be located in downtown Lawerenceville AND in that very same building downtown (before it was Crystal Crane) is where Annie got HER dress! All three of us will've used the same seamstress, and that just means the world to me!
All in all, it was a fantastic, memorable, Joyfully blessed day!
(We DID take pictures however I am most definitely NOT going to post them ;))

joy, revisited :]

"When inspiration comes you somehow have disengaged your consciousness just a touch. The flow of images comes and it comes so quickly and so freshly that you know its just a transparency really. You've managed to remove the barrier and you're just reaching straight into the good stuff."

david gray

given my understood obsession with music I decided to provide a compilation of my 50 favorite songs in 2008. several people have done variations of this themselves and i just thought it might be nice to recollect and share with you guys the songs that meant the most to me. the firsts are by far my most favorite and have been of particular importance to me for one reason or the other. several miscellaneous others are "favorites" because of a moment or a person that has made them so! :) So please look through and feel free to request a CD if you decide you like, don't like, or don't know what I've chosen. Feel free to ask why too!! Oh yes and Happy New Year.
:)

and here we go...
1. You Are My Joy - David Crowder Band - A Collision

2. Shine - Anna Nalick - Shine - EP











3. Strawberry Swing - Coldplay - Viva La Vida











4. Milk - Kings of Leon - Aha Shake Heartbreak











5. Street Lights - Kanye West - 808's and Heartbreak











6. Fire - Augustana - Can't Love, Can't Hurt











7. Rain King - Counting Crows - New Amsterdam: Live at Heineken Music Hall











8. Song to the Siren (live) - David Gray - A Thousand Miles Behind










9. Psalm 23 - Jason Upton - Jacob's Dream - EP











10. Is There a Ghost - Band of Horses - Cease to Begin











11. Josh Likes Me - Mom - Little Brite
12. Closer - Kings of Leon - Only By The Night
13. Use Somebody - Kings of Leon - Only By The Night
14. My Only Swerving - El Ten Eleven - El Ten Eleven
15. Violet Hill - Coldplay - Viva La Vida
16. Come and Listen - David Crowder Band - Double Take: David Crowder Band
17. Washed By The Water - Needtobreathe - The Heat
18. The Greatest Sum (Acoustic) - The Avett Brothers - The Second Gleam
19. Saeglópur - Sigur Rós - Saeglópur - Single
20. Lavinia - The Veils - The Runaway Found
21. Where I Stood - Missy Higgins - On A Clear Night
22. Darling - Wyeuca/Joel Mooneyhan
23. Skinny Love - Bon Iver - For Emma, Forever Ago
24. True Colors - Eva Cassidy - American Tune
25. Hannah - Ray LaMontagne - Trouble
26. Go Down Easy (live) - David Gray - A Thousand Miles Behind
27. Section 14 (Two Thousand Places) - The Polyphonic Spree - Together We're Heavy
28. I'm Yours (From the Casa Nova Sessions) - Jason Mraz - We Sing. We Dance. We Steal Things
29. I Am - Eddie James - Free To Worship - Ultimate Call
30. He Is The Love - David Crowder Band - All I Can Say
31. Essex (Live in Atlanta) - The Album Leaf - Seal Beach
32. Questions - Tommy Emmanuel - Only
33. Mother -Antoine Dufour - Existence
34. Together We Will Live Forever - Clint Mansell - The Fountain (Score)
35. Ain't Gonna Lose You - Brett Dennen - Ain't Gonna Lose You - Single
36. Fiasco - Nancy Wilson - Elizabethtown (Score)
37. Bixby Canyon Bridge - Death Cab For Cutie - Narrow Stairs
38. Healer - Hillsong - This Is Our God
39. Melt My Heart To Stone - Adele - 19
40. Christmas Song - Dave Matthews & Tim Reynolds - Live At Luther College
41. Take A Bow - Rihanna - Take A Bow - Single
42. Figure It Out - Maroon 5 - It Won't Be Soon Before Long
43. Lay And Love - Bonnie "Prince" Billy - The Letting Go
44. I'm Amazed - My Morning Jacket - Evil Urges
45. Faith - Jason Upton - Faith
46. Do You Know? (The Ping Pong Song) - Enrique Iglesias - Insomniac
47. Busy Being Fabulous - The Eagles - Long Road Out of Eden
48. Bleeding Love - Leona Lewis - Spirit
49. Nothing Can Compare With God (Psalm 113) - Natalie LaRue - The Message: Psalms
50. Dear Claudia - SouthFM - Drama Kids