Sunday, January 23, 2011

i've got dreams to remember

I've had so many dreams, throughout the years, of who and what I would one day like to be. When I was younger I can remember saying that I wold like to one day be architect. I'm not really sure where that idea came from. I mean I loved lincoln logs, those cardboard building bricks, and my brother's legos as much as the next elementary school child but it wasn't something I'd say I was particular passionate about.

I cannot even say that my dreams were really those of a tangible, occupationally defining manner. I'd say they were more glimpses of someone else's life that I just knew I would like to someday become. Watching the varsity soccer team when I was in seventh grade and knowing one day that I wanted to be "the heart of the team." Going to my first cross country practice on that summer morning before school began and realizing I craved the competitive adrenaline that coursed through my veins. Idolizing the senior highs in my youth group, enraptured by the way their voices rang out to the Lord, craving a relationship with something more than just this. Craving the faith and honesty I saw in the newness of it all, the freedom and joy of believing without guilt, knowing and realizing the potential of a personal relationship...becoming a woman of God.
Dreams I had that came to define who I was to those around me, dreams that not just define you on the outside but transform all your insides as well.
I have dreams even now. Dreams that are conjured both from past experiences (to sing again, to share my heart, to re-ignite and become a woman of God) and those that come with the transformation from child to adult...

Comprehending potential and wanting more from yourself than ever before...
dreams of becoming a better, more diligent, loving, inspiring, and selfless wife

dreams of becoming a competent, well-rounded, professionally joyful practicioner

and most importantly, dreams of becoming a mother...with infectious energy and a calming spirit.

most of all I dream of maturity, moments of serendipity, a mind filled with prayer, days of serenity, taking a deep breath, taking a step back, thought-filled freedom, forgiveness & running free.

Monday, January 17, 2011


summing up our big day (top "5")
caffeinated electrifying jittery nervous energy.

reunion of our lives.

joy, amplified exponentially.

taking hold & letting go.

quiet strength. assurance. faithfilled leap into a future unknown.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

"Even If It Breaks Your Heart" - Will Hoge

Keep on dreamin' even if it breaks your heart
even if it trips you up, even if spontaneous maturity
forcefully captured, the beauty of your youth.
Even if it steals your breath, even if you momentarily forget
how to take a one
even if you question everything, especially then
keep it up.
Even when you lie in bed, awake until the morning light creeps in,
scaring you finally to sleep
even when you sleep til' well past noon, even if you feel the moments slipping carelessly away
even wasted, when wasting, even if he wastes the very best of everything you thought
you knew,
even if you question yourself, especially then
keep it up.