Saturday, February 28, 2009

faith is a miraculous thing

One night several months ago I was sleeping in my bed in my room in Milledgeville. Nothing particularly interesting had occurred on that day I am sure. I am a pretty regularly restless sleeper so it is nothing for me to wake up several times in the night. This night, however, was very much different from the others. I was actually fully and completely awakened and so I glanced at the clock. 4:49 it said and I so I decided to open my Bible and read. I am a very skeptical person, which was not always the case. Someone so used to living on emotions alone finds it hard to realize that emotional living can only drive one insane. This growing up thing sure is hard. :) I digress....anyhow I opened my Bible to Phillipians and read Chapter 4: 4-9

...Summing it all up, friends. I'd say you'll do best by filling your minds and meditation on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious--the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from Me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into His most Excellent Harmonies.

I believe in this, "to practice what you learned from Me," I believe...I know that we all have our demons. Demons and pitfalls and evils in the middle of the night that few want to admit, even fewer want to realize, conceptualize, answer to themselves to whatever you choose to believe. He tells His people clearly here to focus on the BEST, not the worst....and that is not just in yourself but in the entire world around you. If you believe and choose to see that we were all created by this one Almighty God then you must read every SINGLE word he's left for you. Too often I am bombarded with the hatred of lifestyles those who claim to be his own have conveniently pinpointed as the EPITOME OF EVIL. I get requests to join groups speaking out against these lifestyles and it hurts my heart. What is beautiful, what is worthy of praise when those who are taught to love, taught to pray, taught to worry about the thorn in their own eye, taught to be amongst those you might not understand, taught NOT TO JUDGE LEST YOU BE JUDGE---when these people, His People, are quick to cast the first stone.

There has got to be something else we could be doing, there has got to be another approach than this. It tears up my heart to read the hatred written by those who claim to love, claim to pray and preach and understand his word. Maybe I am naive, maybe I do not understand the True Purpose of his Endless Love, but if this is the truth...then maybe I just don't want to get it.

I want to love and love fully, honestly, and without judgment of the demons we all contain. I want to pray for a better day, a more perfect world, a deeper, more clear understanding of a Personal Relationship that does not have to be put under the microscope. Where the only person, the Only One we have to answer to is He Himself; not the self righteous voice of fellow man. I want to yelling to stop, indignation to cease, I want to share His Love without those around me tainting the purity of that. His Love is Pure, I refuse to believe that it Hates. You know what you are doing is wrong, everyone knows when something is wrong; it is infecting. No one needs to hear the wrath of another sinner to understand his own sin, so stop it. Please.

Friday, February 13, 2009

i love you because

i love you because of your diligent spirit.

i love you because of your tender heart.

i love you because you are never afraid, you have no fear.

Friday, February 6, 2009

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

love is all you've got

Look into this if you get a free moment:

I imagined it would be extremely heartbreaking but the words he is able to compile along with the photographs left me feeling filled rather than empty. Although his mind leaks memories, the love that fills this little family sustains.
Just wow.

Monday, February 2, 2009

tuesdays are my favorite weekday by far

Probably due in complete part to the fact that I have absolutely no classes on Tuesday, not a single one. I have decided, and I've discussed this with Maggie and it seems a pretty viable option, that I am going to quit school now and take up wedding planning. It is my relaxation. Other than exercise it is the one way I can find sweet release from stress and get that thrill of researching and brainstorming new ideas! I will never complain about having a long engagement, I have been able to do everything in stages which allows plenty of time to THINK through what I really want out of each area of importance. It is hard being away and busy all of the time but I know that I am being granted the strength to see it through to a better, brighter day. :)