I cried out to the Lord because of my affliction, And He answered me. Out of the belly of Sheol I cried And You heard my voice. For You cast me into the deep, Into the heart of the seas, And the floods surrounded me; All Your billows and Your waves passed over me. Then I said, 'I have been cast out of Your sight; Yet I will look again toward Your holy temple.' The waters surrounded me, even to my soul; The deep closed around me; weeds were wrapped around my head. I went down to the moorings of the mountains; The earth with its bars closed behind me forever; Yet You have brought up my life from the pit, O Lord my God. When my soul fainted within me, I remembered the Lord. And my prayer went up to You, Into Your holy temple. Those who regard worthless idols Forsake their own Mercy. But I will sacrifice to You with the voice of thanksgiving; I will pay what I have vowed. Salvation is of the Lord.
Jonah 2: 2-10
It is passages like this...in my quiet times that I realize we have all suffered...we are all striving for a reason to believe, to live for something more....to be Saved. And it's right here in front of us but we have got to want it. You have got to want to realize that you have no control...you are not meant to control yourself. There is simply something so much more than the hate and depression of superficial living...and it's hard not to be angry and not to hate the oftentimes sickening life of humanity...but it is necessary to realize that if we want to accept our purpose...if we want to breath his Life into others. We have got to find patience...self control....self sacrifice rather...and silence in our moments of discontent and anger. We too are sinners....we were not meant to simply shove ourselves carelessly into the lives of others and thrust an accusing finger into their eye....we are just as if not more deplorable then the act of sin we are condemning. We Know better. And still we want more...we want immediate 110% comprehension and perfection from those "beneath" us....those "behind" us....those "below" us. And I say we because oftentimes I want the same thing.....I cannot understand how someone continues to live in such a destructive, disgusting manner when I do not even bother to look at the pitfalls of my own existence. Jonahs' plea to the Lord was not one of a hope for salvation from the belly of the whale, he knew this was the place he was meant to be....It was a plea for an acceptance of his seeming understand....and mere days later he would forget himself again. He would forget the Mercy the Lord had shown to him, forget that that Mercy was not just for him it was for EVERYONE! No matter how many times you fail....no matter how many times you falter...He knows the truth of your heart....the truth of your intentions.
So be true to Him. Be true to yourself. Take a good long hard look in the mirror before lashing out at all of humanity around you. Look at the Good before the Bad....even when it is hard to find.