Saturday, May 27, 2006

sing me a song without any words

I am happy. are you? because if really should be.
How's about not going to bed until 3 AM for 3 days in a row when you know you have to wake up, often times, before the sun even comes up. Don't do it. Because when you finally decide to take a little nap you will have see yourself driving in a car and so tired that you have no control, and it will be your sister's car mind you, and you will dream of all the 6 or 7 different ways you have absolutely no control over your driving skills and wreck into, rather fluidly mind you, into several miscellanious items. 1 at a time. A house, a mailbox, etc.
Don't knock it til' you try it, and by try it I mean do it right.
So right it makes you smile from ear to ear and you know you won't forget that day, remember it. Write it down, detail it, picture it, photograph it. Don't worry to remember every single day, our brains are to small to fill with every single word we ever say, influencial or not. Remember and catalogue those days that change you...really change you. Not the little tingles, but the big rushes. Not the giggles but the huge bursts of laughter. Not the nights you got so messed up you can barely remember...but those nights you felt warmth inside, when you look up and you see the stars and realize you haven't looked up in well over a year and your heart swells. Kiss those you love, kiss those that mean something you never want to forget...because, if done right, you will never forget those you've kissed. Never. And plus you'll get better with every try so...why not kiss the ones you love?
It's Chrysalis weekend, then two weeks of no school and no work, then back to Milledgeville...and this year...this year is going to be amazing. I have a best friend who brings a light into my life unlike any I've ever experienced...a light of permanence and joy and laughter and excitement and attraction and desire and inspiration and fears and sadness and strength. We are at the pentacle of it all...we are what people only dream about, what they wish for, he has shown me love and true devotion...and no could ever beat that, ever.
I have the closest and most sincere friends anyone could ask for, a "roommate" who has quickly become the reason why I cherish my friendships with girls now. She is the reason I've realized the value of females in my life, and she's my counterpart. I have those who will always be there to entertain me and never will a moment go by that we cannot laugh off the problems of the day...if only for awhile. He keeps me up all night with our randomness and he's the one who's always there, he's my brother and partner in....everything.
I've got new friends who have forgiven and seen through it all. Relationships only just beginning to develop that will surely bloom as soon as I return home...home to Milledgeville.
How weird, Milledgeville really is my home and I wouldn't ever want it any other way, all of it is exactly as it should be and again...I regret nothing.
How beautiful, and even more so because i'm rediscovering faith. and hope. and belief. and passion.

"Love Songs" - Fleming and John