Thursday, March 27, 2008


When I think back on high school, on the friends I had and such it doesn’t so much feel like moments I remember in my past but more like a portion of life, a time period I could easily return to. Which is obviously not the case but it doesn’t feel lost, doesn’t feel forgotten; just feels like vital moments that were once My Life. Moments that are just caught in the back of my mind. Moments I could return to at any...well moment in present time and live again. Not so much the case really. High school is over. Individuals who I once knew as the closest people to myself, often closer than my family even, are now just voices on the line from time. What do you say when you’ve got nothing to really SAY to them? What peace can you bring to lives of those who you do not really know so much anymore? And what for the ones who you know, who you’ve loved, who you trust and rely on. What for those who have to be let go, for one reason or another aside from time?
How do you alter the status of a relationship minus...
1) guilt
2) sadness
3) anxiety
4) fear
5) regret
You pray to God for the words to say, thoughts to inspire, peace to transcend all complication, vision of the BIGGER picture, and the silence of understanding.
Please understand--I haven’t forgotten. I love you very very much and miss you also; there are just things in life that demand a sort of, respect. Not you fault, not mine just lives deciding factors.
But when you’ve been given such a gift of love.
How do distribution and discretion coincide appropriately.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Saturday, March 8, 2008

i'm sure this has been asked before, but

can you ever turn the volume up loud enough on the stereo,
ever scream to the point where your lungs are comfortably burning,
every jump and dance and smile and talk at the highest rate of speed
to stomp, deafen, exhaust, blind the thoughts out of your mind?

and which music, exactly, would this sort of instance require?
can you ever drown out the thoughts of an idle mind?

how does anyone really relax?
when do you reach that real moment of self assured security in life,
when is it ever enough?

Tuesday, March 4, 2008


And when my mind is spinning, when thoughts are trailing reason feebly attempting to catch a breath, to breathe, my mind, my heart, my voice it falls to you. Lord.
What am I, alone. Who am I, with all my self, my trails, I fail you. again.
Reverence. Silence. Stillness. I would love to write a story telling enough to inspire...someone other than myself but then I fear it would be with the hopes of satisfaction, to the glory of them, and then I question, myself. How can I? Question that which is so. Is Everything.
As contrary to popular belief as this might be, I see you
in his eyes. In sincerity of a love, never needing, ever seeking, in prayer
in his and mine, family.
In a friend, Faith, of mine, depends, so near to my own, on, Dear Lord how could we, that which, they not See, is all over around IN.
The trees. the air rushing by as I run down, up, around the hills of a place I've been several times before. And it never ceases to amaze, me.
If I sang to you? If I danced all night, day, from the moment I rose til' you put me to sleep--from exhaustion, exultation, Dear Lord to scream your Name in declaration from, to every single inch of this world. This world you created.
Comprehension is really so incomprehensible I can do nothing more, I can do all the more to sing, a song, with words written, on knees bent, face down,
To praise you, Lord, my Father you are.
The reality of this, scares the cynic in me
Lord, I am a child at your feet.