Things on the home front are still somewhat rocky (with the parentals) but my mother and I had the beginnings of a conversation today I am hoping will come in to complete fruition tomorrow. I am just praying for the strength to remain respectful in a situation where I would otherwise most definitely lose my cool. I will write more about it once things have been fully resolved. I have found such a deeper faith in myself and my abilities--due in part to my ever increasing faith in God and his gift of Jason and his belief in me!
Jason truly is my stronghold. He never lets me say negative things about the one he loves (:)) and never fails to remind me at any random moment during the day just what a blessing I am to him. He, however, is truly the one who has blessed and changed my life!
I should be sleeping right now but I opted instead to look through a wedding magazine I bought a week or so ago and rip out and write down any ideas I had. Thanks to Maggie and her amazing wedding planning material I have begun to put together my own notebook of ideas as well as carry around a little notepad to write all of my random ideas on....Both Maggie and Annie have been THE BIGGEST help and encouragement to me during this extremely important and exciting time for Jason and I. I love them and am so thankful they are my soon to be sisters!!! (Now if I could just tell you WHEN exactly that would occur then I would just be bubbling over with happiness....)
Jason and I have decided that along with planning for the wedding we are going to read a book a month as a tool to help us plan for our MARRIAGE. This commitment, on top pre-marital counseling, the pre-marital retreat, personal experience from our close friends and family, and our own diligent spirits; I am confident we are preparing for this marriage in the most responsible means possible!
There are times, like now, when it is really hard (and can often feel unfair) to be the eldest child. You are typically the first one to experience or take the leap into something your parents have never experienced: the first to date, the first to get a cell phone, the first to drive, the first to stay out late, the first to go to college, and now the first to get married. I suppose I'd rather it be me then my sister or brother and am thankful that God has created me with such tough skin and a diligent spirit; this is just one of those times when you wish that "first born" mentality wouldn't apply.
I am hesitantly hopeful for tomorrow and excited for the coming months. This year has been so full of new beginnings, leaps of faith, and even new lives being formed I cannot wait to see what's in store!!