Today, we'll just call it today because I have not yet fallen asleep. Was quite easily the most alive days of my life.
Today, July 21, 2008 my love came to the place where it all began and chose me as his own. Today. Not 4 months from now, not 8, not even a year but today. All of my negativity, all of my despair, all of my faithlessness disappearing as I walked into the cooler and saw that man. I didn't think about anything except that this was it, this was the moment I'd wanted, whether fully or dutifully, it was mine. Exactly how I'd wanted. Wanted. (theme of camp) And wanting is a very odd thing. My God was and is and has been so real. And he told me he'd show me, he'd give me that moment I was waiting for and I never knew until now just what that was. And I didn't cry, I laughed I smile so hard my heart and my face and my body on fire! The entire day filled with idle conversation, hazy thoughts, and everything as it is supposed to be.
Of course it was odd that I was working over at girl's camp after an entire summer of boys, or that Eric and Matt both were guarding me from ever going into the kitchen. But I had no idea. Not a one. And every single person knew. I am worth it. I am. I am not a liar or a cheat. I am in love with a man whom God designed just for me. And no distance or time or evil could ever keep me from my love for him. With God guiding me, with my faith and knowledge growing, possibilities unraveling, God has plans for me. He has plans for us bigger than I could even know at this very moment but he is revealing. He is!!!
Finally Joanna came through for lunch and the applesauce was empty, I told her I'd refill it for her and she'd asked for an orange instead. I breezed past Eric, never noticing he didn't try to stop me, and was so happy to see Marlena had come to eat lunch with us unexpectedly. I went into the cooler, wholeheartedly looking for that orange, and came out with fiery skin and a firm grip on his hand. He whisked me away with such determination I could not even tell you what was really said, "What are you thinking?", "This is surreal." Laughter and smiles and hand squeezes, so very us.
Around the Pod where we first met around to the very middle of Winshape with the green grass and blue skies and 100 degree weather. My sweet Georgia weather. Talking and telling me a sweet sweet love letter, right there in front of Normandy we stopped and faced one another. Silence. "Can we pray?"
A thanks thanks thanksgiving to the Lord and then, "Lauren Taylor Dickson, will you marry me?" "Yes."
box. ring. hand. hug. kiss!!!
He turned me facing out of Winshape to see my family and his at the bottom of the hill. Several Normandy Innkeepers at the top, my kitchen family peeking out around the wall and a crowd of counselors and campers giving us a standing "O"!
Hugs with the family, LOTS OF SMILES and pictures and time to think and breath and feel
Grand Chalet driving around for over an hour talking, Starbucks, Panera more time to breath at my house relaxing and making phone calls. Tears and happiness!
My love, my life.
He's da best.