Tha Bears.

Your gonna take my bottle, my bible, my mess
Your gonna take all of my empty and my loneliness
Gonna take all of that sadness inside of me
Gonna take it all and set me free.
- Amos Lee

I love Amos Lee and the days when music just makes my toes tap and when i'm in my car it makes me tap the part of the car right outside of my open window and I don't even care that people are tailing me so close because i'm driving 5 miles under the speed limit. All because I'm groovin' to Big Head Todd & the Monsters "Boom Boom." I'll do what I want because it's my last two days of summer and because I am about to move into my yearlong permanent residence...in Milledgeville, and i've got mixed feelings about that.
I've got mixed feelings about everything these days, except myself and my singledom...I just plain love that. :)

I wish humans hibernated like bears...think of how much more refreshed and rejuvenated the entire world would be...aside from the fact that prior to all this sleeping we would all get to gorge ourselves on lots of food. Now that's whose got it made...tha bears. 

 

Boom Boom. 

sing me a song without any words

I am happy. are you? because if not...you really should be.
How's about not going to bed until 3 AM for 3 days in a row when you know you have to wake up, often times, before the sun even comes up. Don't do it. Because when you finally decide to take a little nap you will have see yourself driving in a car and so tired that you have no control, and it will be your sister's car mind you, and you will dream of all the 6 or 7 different ways you have absolutely no control over your driving skills and wreck into, rather fluidly mind you, into several miscellanious items. 1 at a time. A house, a mailbox, etc.
Don't knock it til' you try it, and by try it I mean do it right.
So right it makes you smile from ear to ear and you know you won't forget that day, remember it. Write it down, detail it, picture it, photograph it. Don't worry to remember every single day, our brains are to small to fill with every single word we ever say, influencial or not. Remember and catalogue those days that change you...really change you. Not the little tingles, but the big rushes. Not the giggles but the huge bursts of laughter. Not the nights you got so messed up you can barely remember...but those nights you felt warmth inside, when you look up and you see the stars and realize you haven't looked up in well over a year and your heart swells. Kiss those you love, kiss those that mean something you never want to forget...because, if done right, you will never forget those you've kissed. Never. And plus you'll get better with every try so...why not kiss the ones you love?
It's Chrysalis weekend, then two weeks of no school and no work, then back to Milledgeville...and this year...this year is going to be amazing. I have a best friend who brings a light into my life unlike any I've ever experienced...a light of permanence and joy and laughter and excitement and attraction and desire and inspiration and fears and sadness and strength. We are at the pentacle of it all...we are what people only dream about, what they wish for, he has shown me love and true devotion...and no could ever beat that, ever.
I have the closest and most sincere friends anyone could ask for, a "roommate" who has quickly become the reason why I cherish my friendships with girls now. She is the reason I've realized the value of females in my life, and she's my counterpart. I have those who will always be there to entertain me and never will a moment go by that we cannot laugh off the problems of the day...if only for awhile. He keeps me up all night with our randomness and he's the one who's always there, he's my brother and partner in....everything.
I've got new friends who have forgiven and seen through it all. Relationships only just beginning to develop that will surely bloom as soon as I return home...home to Milledgeville.
How weird, Milledgeville really is my home and I wouldn't ever want it any other way, all of it is exactly as it should be and again...I regret nothing.
How beautiful, and even more so because i'm rediscovering faith. and hope. and belief. and passion.

"Love Songs" - Fleming and John

the moon on the hill

Be prepared

I can see it in the air

I was just wishing

Fading in the grass basking in the sunlight

In the breaking and the breathing

Or a ceiling made of stars

Tonight I'm running wild

that long last time

What do you say, is there a way

will there be someone to remember

a little place that we loved

I'm waiting

To hear your voice again

And just be pure wind

And lighten up this heart

I don't have to answer any of these questions

No one feels the same

Hush, sleep, don't think

I'm still taken by surprise

I hold sunlight and swallow fireflies

So we could walk down to the sea

But he never ever asks a single thing about me

And I am walking with my Savior

everything

And it makes me want to cry

How will we laugh just like before

I miss the way you

How the music played all night and day

through the windows up above

I miss the way you

Said "I love you but, I don't even know why"

I miss the way you sing with me

"I see you in every little thing"

Well in my mind

we can conquer the world

You and I

It's true

I wish I could have stood where you would have been proud

Second rate

Fragile flame

Little inside and filled with pride

it's such a bitter end

no tears to damn you

when jealousy burns

But darling, I wish you well

I can tell how hard you're trying

And I would still be on my feet

From time to time

I was wrong I confess

It kind of makes me very happy

Someone like you

I wished I'd a known you

I wished I'd a shown you

But love grows old and waxes cold

And the moon don't make me dance

And I didn't know what to say

No one sees the same

I'm holding on to stupid memories

And it's in, it's in your eyes

 I will hold back the pain

We may never see each other again

a long night turns into a couple long years

disappearing everyday without so much as a word

you never gave a damn for me

for anything

it's such a bitter end

I didn't know what to say

But I said a prayer for him anyway

My Savior walks with me

Sometimes all we do is cope

Breathe in faith and hope

Grab a hold of that little song bird

Hold her in my arms tell her I'll be alright

The things I want inside

Ain't no way

that won't happen now

And the stories that fell from the sky that day

On your way to the wishing well

I just have this secret hope

The voices inside you that fill you with dread

Make the sound of thousands of angels instead

And fade away like morning dew

I'd still be on my feet

If you're listening, hear me pray

Have yourself a merry little christmas 

"Dear Old Friend" - Patty Griffin